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16 entries this month
Reality Bites...03:01 Jul 16 2009
Times Read: 680
Reality TV should be put on the FDA controlled substance list. You lose more time than a heroin addict on a bend! Hell, at least the heroin addict derives some pleasure from it. Me? I'm constantly fighting lock-jaw simply because I am always amazed at the stupid shit I can't seem to turn away from.
04:39 Jul 15 2009
Times Read: 698
Well, sitting in the theater amazed at the sheer stupidity of the world. So far, I've listened to everyone who made it here after 11:20 bitch about the amount of people and lack of seats for their late five hundred deep posse. I got here at 11 and already was ushered into another theater with more (kinda) room.
The man behind me must have tuberculosis because I'm fairly certain he hacked a loogy into my hair. Me, being afraid to hurt someones feelings, didn't fly out of my seat as I listened to the wet congested cough behind me. Though, bonus for not having bought snacks or anything. There's no way I wouldn't imagine phlegm in the bag, now.
Sitting in the second tier aisle is a bad deal, btw. Apparently, all eyes are magnetically drawn to my face and twice, my cleavage. Again, the bonus is that I've seen more than three people fall either down the steps or up.
Still, all I want is to intubate the guy behind me and run a small vacuum to clear out that shit in his lungs so that I don't concentrate on his nauseating cough. Hey, it sounds mean, but think of flying spittle. Now, add chunks of goop into it. Am I really out of line?
Buzzkill23:50 Jul 14 2009
Times Read: 708
No! The dreaded buzzkill. Today it was sponsored by the question "How is Chris?"
Bah. Now to go to bed and feel horrible.
And?23:38 Jul 14 2009
Times Read: 715
I'm pleased to announce I will be seeing Mister Harry Pottah this evening. Solo. So what. Fuck off.
Macys is bullshit.23:10 Jul 14 2009
Times Read: 717
I despise my second job. I am plotting to switch price tags and declare false sales to customers.
I wonder if it's because this is a second job that I am quicker to flip the bird? I already left my full name and employee id on the website saying that the website was basically shit and a poor way to command loyalty of a new employee...
Plus, after losing my check and speaking to me as if it were my fault, plus, said check not even breaking $70 for 8.5 hours of work... Shit, I do not recall my self esteem plummeting recently.
I think I'd be able to make more money giving blowjob promises under the thruway overpass.
How does this sound:
a) "Hey, baby -- want a blowjob?" (hand to mouth gesture)
b) "Hello sir, what brings you to fellatio way, today?" (hand to mouth gesture)
c) "Stop! Police! Drop your wallet!" (Hand to imaginary gun on hip gesture)
d) "Gee, Mister... I sure do wish I could make more than minimum wage this hour. Any suggestions?" (coy hand to pigtail gesture)
e) "BLOWJOBS FOR SALE!!!" (frantic gesturing)
14:18 Jul 11 2009
Times Read: 736
Seriously? Why would I say it's all good when it simply is not good. Not good, at all.
And to come at me like you were my saving grace... *sigh*
Whatever, I'm not doing this. Not here. Not via phone. Definitely, no messenger pigeon.
*back to lurking*
Multa bene, caca.00:11 Jul 11 2009
Times Read: 757
Who could ever get mad at a chicken parm hero? Isn't it the given hero that never tastes bad when you order it? Well, what the fuck?!
I had earned this hero and was looking forward to it all week. So, after work, I did some quick grocery shopping while I waited for my order.
I should have known there would be an issue from the moment the stupid fucking kid behind the counter asks me if the stuffed shells I ordered were meant to have sauce and mozzarella?! Of course, I do a quick sideways canvass of the area looking for a TV crew... none.
"Erm, yeah... do people commonly order it without anything? I'll just take the hero, it's okay."
"No, no -- it'll take two minutes to put some cheese on it."
I'm just thinking how appetizing it sounds now that he offered to just sprinkle some magic shredded fairy-cheese and call it a day.
"Aww, let him do it. It'll taste better that way."
I look around with a quizzical "what the fuck are you even talking to me for" look, and I reply with a tough-as-nails "Okay."
It's because my dumb ass said that one word that I am not driving back there and causing a fight!
Grr... Anyhow, I get home and do my whole unwinding ritual done and I'm ready to eat. When I open the bag, a waft of steam kinda floated up and the bag looked like a homicide scene! There was sauce all over the place and the shells were halfway out of the container with magic fairy-cheese stuck to the lid.
Under it this hot sloppy mess, was my fucking hero. The lid just beginning to cave in with shells and sauce. I carefully took out the container and burned my hand. I kept holding on because I was sitting on the floor and the carpet is off-white. Yep.
After cleaning up the mess, I am thinking hateful shit about the restaurant and trying to talk myself into going there (15 minutes away from home... by car... when I'm the one driving...). Instead, I try to remember how I like sloppy food every so often.
The soggy hero had nothing to offer on approach to my mouth. Nothing, but a single hair that I noticed at the very last second. A second where I'd just gotten sauce and cheese on my tongue and decided I wanted to eat the stupid thing.
Snapping my mouth shut, I took the evil piece of hero and squooshed it in my hand, chucked it into the container and threw it away. I am violently pissed off.
Lesson learned: Never lie about earning a chicken parm hero.
Grr...15:47 Jul 10 2009
Times Read: 764
YES! I am annoyed with you. You are not proactive and I have to worry about all the shit you should be stressing over. This makes no sense to me. Shouldn't your natural instinct be survival? Get with the progarm, already!
This friendship is becoming toxic. I am not Tchernobyll.
Felony! Minimal harm, debatable foul...20:22 Jul 07 2009
Times Read: 780
Extortion is wasted on me. Telling me you have added me as a friend and fav journal only to demand I return in kind? Surely, you jest.
My unpopularity is popularity enough for me, thanks.
Seriously, I will never ask anyone to fav me up. I want to appreciate the people that did it because they wanted to. I actually know everyone who has added me. I speak to 90% of them. I think that says a l'il bit about me.
I must be slated for sainthood.
The One Gloved Wonder....17:48 Jul 07 2009
Times Read: 782
Called out of work today. I'm too tired and I still have the second job later this evening. I told supervisor one (her new nickname) that I had to head into Manhattan to get some transcripts and junk, well, transferred... I'm only realizing now that she was not a fan of my educational cause (lie or otherwise) because all she could think to ask was whether or not I had days to take. You'd think that my being absent every month for the past year would just be a thing of the past since I managed to show up every day in June!! *grin*
CD's got a brand new bag!01:19 Jul 07 2009
Times Read: 799
Hey, seems I found something fun to do! Moonie was kind enough to let me have a page to play with in Existere. Well, I have started holding interviews and posting them... Hope they're as fun to read as doing them with random people through VR!
LOL, i need help...
*shivers*15:34 Jul 06 2009
Times Read: 832
YOU ARE CREEPY! LEAVE ME BE!
No, seriously, you are way creepy and now, I have to carry mase in the off-chance I ever encounter you. Do us both the favor and desist in requesting I add you as a friend, call you, IM you, PM you or acknowledge you in any fashion.
I may be single, but I am not desperate.
Now, go forth and fuck off.
Writer's Block...16:05 Jul 05 2009
Times Read: 836
I hold my pen like a rusty scalpel
This old tool used to be a friend
Now, it waits to cut away muscle
And expose parts broken
Etching painful memories
So there is evidence of what was
Stenciling my life's tapestry
For all to see and discuss
It scratches out my epitaph
My legend not so much, but a tragedy
Words that tell of love, life and the aftermath
The map the leads to what's left of me
Shaitanning me back!14:43 Jul 03 2009
Times Read: 855
Whoa, thank you for beaming me back to Shaitan, Scotty! Now, to act ambivalent about the whole damn thing...
No means no!!14:41 Jul 03 2009
Times Read: 856
Jaysus Narcissistic Christ, people! I said it before, and I will say it ONCE MORE! Dance to the music... j/k
I WILL NOT LOOK AT YOUR PORTFOLIOS ANYMORE! It's bad enough I am lying about the 10's I hand out sometimes on profiles.
ATTICA! ATTICA!14:25 Jul 03 2009
Times Read: 863
Shaitan today and Unregenerate again, tomorrow? WTF? I was halfway through my Shaitain status and today I am back to 87% of Unregen?
I read FAQ and went through the stat system, TWICE and to add to the confusion, I was added to a couple more friend/journal lists (thank you party people...)
So, why do they want to keep me down?!
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